I approached Lake Michigan today and part of me wanted to jump in and sink to the bottom. I wanted to be done with my petty problems and see what the big picture truly was. As I glanced down though, I caught a glimpse of dog shit all around me. It really turned me off to the idea. I don’t want my last image of earth to be dog feces surrounding me, I at least want it to be halfway poetic, or sudden and painless. 

It’s not that I would actually ever do it. I love the life I lead. I get to see and experience things that most will never have the opportunity to accomplish. I just don’t know what goal I’m working towards, and the idea of a shortcut is appealing. It’s a selfish, cruel thought, and nothing like this has ever crossed my mind, but it made sense. I keep getting sad, having epiphanies that make me feel better, and then get sad again. It’s a vicious cycle and it’s straining on my conscience. I’m a happy person by nature, but what does that achieve? Where am I going? I feel like I’m meant for more and that’s what’s keeping me sane.

Thank God for dog shit. The most beautiful sight in the world.